


How Can I Be A Wingman When I’m A Woman?

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Series: Adventures of The Crazy [15]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blue Hawaii's, Brienne Has A Better Gaydar Than In Canon, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Margaery Attempts Being Blonde But Doesn't Really Like It, Violence Against Cocktails, job interview
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Margaery has split up with Renly and demanded Brienne be her Wingman and help her find suitable replacements in her bed.</p><p>Or</p><p>Where Brienne first meets Jaime Lannister and is not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Can I Be A Wingman When I’m A Woman?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [youbuggme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youbuggme/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Wingmen For Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241151) by [youbuggme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youbuggme/pseuds/youbuggme). 



> So, this was rather inspired by the series "Wingmen For Life" by youbuggme. I love it and it cracks me up. But there we are. I hope that this makes you all laugh. (nods)

How Can I Be A Wingman When I’m A Woman?

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Brienne wanted to hit her head against the table in front of her. She sat in a booth, at ‘The Bear and The Maiden Fair’ pub. Or was it an inn? Or a bar perhaps? Who knew? Brienne had ceased caring after the third round of drinks.

“Come on Brie!” Margaery pleaded. “You’re supposed to be my wingman!” She added. Brienne wanted to kill her friend.

“How can I be a wingman, when I’m a woman?” Brienne asked.

“Because that’s just the term for it! Now go forth and find me suitable eye candy to take to my bed.” Margaery stated. Brienne rolled her eyes.

“Why is it that when you split up with someone, I get tortured? Not that I didn’t warn you that Renly was more interested in Loras in the first place. That man couldn’t be more gay if he tried.” Brienne said. Margaery pouted.

“Just go and chat up the blond at the bar.” Margaery said.

“Has he even turned around? Have you seen his face? How do you know _he_ isn’t a _she?_ And what about the ‘Great Body, Ugly Face’ probabilities?” Brienne questioned.

“I cannot believe you just used a Pablo Francisco joke to try and get out of talking to a guy.” Margaery shot back. Brienne sighed.

“Yeah, I’ll admit that that was low. But sending me to chat up a guy for you is asking for trouble.” Brienne shot back.

“You are my best friend, and it amuses me to no end to see you blush when you attempt to talk to a guy for me.” Margaery replied. Brienne nearly choked on her drink then. They seemed to be going through every fruity, weird flavoured cocktail the place served.

“Fine! I’ll go and talk to him.” Brienne said. Then stood up from her seat, and went to the bar. She stood next to the blond male and ordered the fourth round of drinks, before she looked at the blond properly.

“See something you like?” The blond asked. Brienne raised a brow.

 _“He looks like a fucking God! A drunk God, but still. Weren’t there Gods of Wine and stuff in ancient times?”_ Brienne thought as she composed a reply rather quickly.

“Actually, my friend has decided I have to be her wingman and demanded I come to the bar and talk to you. Don’t ask me why.” Brienne replied. The blond smiled, his green eyes sparkled. His hair was a little long, and he had a beard of stubble, but that just seemed to make him look even better.

“Which one’s your friend?” The blond asked. Brienne pointed Margaery out surreptitiously.

“She’s the blonde in the rather revealing green dress.” Brienne replied. Margaery had been trying blonde as a hair colour recently. The blond looked at Brienne quizzically.

“Oh? I can’t think why she’d ask you to do the job. Granted you’ve got legs for days, but you’re hardly a looker. Shouldn’t it be the other way round? Her trying to hook guys for you?” The blond asked. That was the moment the bartender appeared with the drinks, two bright blue concoctions he called ‘Blue Hawaii’s” and Brienne grabbed both drinks and upended them over the arrogant blond. His smirk disappeared. “What was _that_ for?” He asked irritably, almost as though he had no idea what he’d done wrong.

“That was because you’re the most arrogant, primping peacock, I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet! Not to mention the rudest!” Brienne exclaimed angrily, before storming over to Margaery, grabbing her things and stalking out of the bar. She heard Margaery behind her, asking her what was wrong, but Brienne was past caring at this point. She just wanted to get home and prepare for the interview she had tomorrow at Lannister Corp. After all, she’d quit her job at Baratheon Inc, and she needed to have a job to pay her bills and survive. She knew she could ask her father, but she would rather do what she needed to do, for herself.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Brienne found herself nervous. She was sat outside the interview room, wearing a blue blazer and skirt, and a white shirt. She was determined to get this job, or work damn hard trying. She saw a man leave the room and then another man called her in. When Brienne entered the small conference room, she almost turned around and ran right out again. This was because the man she’d poured bright blue cocktails over, only last night, was sat in one of the seats across from her. The other was a man who clearly suffered from Dwarfism. He smiled brightly at Brienne, but the other man frowned slightly.

“Hello, Miss Tarth, I’m Tyrion Lannister and this is my brother Jaime. Should you take on this job, you would be working for both of us.” Tyrion said. Brienne nodded her understanding.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Brienne said politely. She held out a hand towards each man, for them to shake. Tyrion seemed quite enthusiastic. Jaime seemed like he was assessing her.

“Well, Miss Tarth. I have some brilliant recommendations from Baratheon Inc.” Tyrion said.

“I worked hard there.” Brienne replied.

“So why change offices?” Jaime asked. Brienne felt a tightening pain inside her heart. She knew that these men could never understand it.

“I... felt I needed a change of scenery.” Brienne said.

“Well, I’m sure their loss would be our gain.” Tyrion said, as he looked through a file. He then passed the same file to Jaime, and he seemed to look shocked reading it. He then looked at Brienne, as though doing a double take, almost as though he couldn’t believe what he was reading. Then he gave Brienne an intrigued look. After about an hour of back and forth, questions on the Lannister’s side, and answers on Brienne’s, the interview was over. Brienne stood up and shook hands with both men, Jaime held on to her hand a little longer, and she wondered why that was when they locked gazes, green on blue. Then he’d let go and she was shown out, with a promise from Tyrion to inform her if she had gotten the job or not. She walked to the lift, pressed the button and waited for the doors to open. As she heard the ping that signified the doors were about to open, she felt someone stand beside her. The lift was thankfully empty, and as Brienne stepped in, she realised that it was Jaime Lannister who was stood beside her. The doors closed before Brienne could make a break for it. They spent a few awkward moments in silence.

“You’re the woman who threw blue cocktails over my head last night.” Jaime stated.

“You’re the man who implied I was too ugly to be a wingman for my best friend and that it should be the other way round.” Brienne replied before she could think about it.

“To be fair, I didn’t quite mean it the way it sounded. I don’t personally think you’re ugly. But you’re not the conventional choice I’d suppose. But you’re right, it was rude, implications or not.” Jaime said. Brienne looked at him then, feeling a little confused. “For what it’s worth, that was an apology.” Jaime added.

“For what it’s worth, I hope the cocktails didn’t stain your clothes permanently.” Brienne replied. Jaime laughed. That was when the lift doors opened and Brienne and Jaime stepped out of the lift. Jaime looked at Brienne again.

“I think we’re going to be seeing a lot more of each other Miss Tarth.” Jaime said. Brienne was a little confused by the knowing look in his eyes as he left the building. She felt a little dazed, but shook herself out of it with a shake of her head and left the building herself. She headed home, wondering what Jaime had meant by his comment. She also wondered at the strange spark of flame that seemed to have ignited in her lower belly. But she put that down to irritation. Jaime Lannister was clearly a very vexing and irritating man.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“So, it was Jaime Lannister you poured Blue Hawaii’s over?” Margaery stated one week later, as they sat eating breakfast. Meeting up for breakfast or lunch or brunch or some other meal, was not unusual for the friends.

“Yes it was.” Brienne replied. Margaery let out a laugh. Brienne could see that the blonde was growing out of Margaery’s hair now. “You’ve decided to go back to being a brunette?” Brienne asked.

“Blonde was never meant to be a permanent colour in my life.” Margaery replied. Brienne was the one to laugh then. That was when her phone started ringing. Brienne and Margaery looked at each other quizzically, as Brienne dug her phone out of her bag. She answered it, not recognising the number.

“Hello?” Brienne said.

 ** _“Hello Miss Tarth, it’s Tyrion Lannister.”_** Brienne’s eyes were wide then.

“Hello Mr Lannister.” Brienne said. Margaery looked at Brienne with wide eyes then.

 ** _“I just wanted to call and let you know that you’ve got the job. When can you start?”_** Tyrion asked on the other end of the phone.

“I’m ready when you are sir.” Brienne replied. She heard a slight chuckle from Tyrion.

 ** _“Well, how about Monday?”_** Tyrion asked.

“Monday is perfectly alright with me.” Brienne replied.

 ** _“Good, I’ll see you on Monday then Miss Tarth. Congratulations!”_** Tyrion said.

“Thank you. Goodbye.” Brienne said.

 ** _“Yes, goodbye Miss Tarth. I’ll see you on Monday.”_** Tyrion said. Then he hung up. Margaery grinned widely.

“You got the job?” Margaery asked excitedly.

“Yes I got the job.” Brienne replied, feeling a little shocked. Margaery shrieked happily and grabbed her friend in a hug, whilst Brienne was still feeling a little shell shocked by it all. She couldn’t help wondering if that was what Jaime had meant last week. She also wondered how it would be to work for a man who she’d poured drinks all over. But for now, she had to be happy. After all, she’d landed a job at Lannister Corp. People would kill for that opportunity.

What Brienne didn’t know, but would learn over the years that she would work there, was that people might well kill for the chance to _leave_ Lannister Corp with their sanity intact. But her fun wasn’t spoiled until she started working there. But that may well be another story. For now, she celebrated her good fortune. It wasn’t every day someone got a job at one of the best companies in the world, even after pouring blue drinks over one of their future employers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope that this was enjoyable and I really appreciate the fact you read until the end. (nods)


End file.
